How not to harm the child by punishment

Every parent sooner or later faces a situation when the child breaks the rules. He knows that he does something forbidden, but still checks the boundaries of what is allowed. The question of punishment in such cases is acute, but the main thing is not to harm the child and not to break his trust in parents.

First of all, if you doubt whether to punish, it is better not to do it. Punishment should be conscious and fair, not an emotional reaction to irritation or fatigue. Any punitive measures “just in case” will only hurt and lead to a loss of authority of the parent.

It is important to remember that for one case of misbehavior should follow one punishment. Even if the child has made several mistakes in a row, you can not deal with each one separately, stretching the process. This will cause him a feeling of endless guilt and injustice. It is better to explain what he did wrong, and assign a single, but justified punishment.

Punishment should not become a tool to deprive the child of love and attention. If he deserves praise or rewards, they should not be revoked because of his past misbehavior. Also, gifts should not be taken away, because this can form a child's fear of parents rather than respect for them.

Another important mistake is to punish for misdemeanors committed long ago. If the child does not remember what exactly he did, or does not realize the connection between the action and punishment, it will not do any good. Delayed measures will only breed a sense of injustice and resentment. It is better to discuss the situation, explain why it is wrong and draw conclusions for the future.

After the punishment, it is important to close the topic and not to remind the child of his mistake again and again. If he realized the guilt, then the page is turned, and life goes on. Humiliation and constant reproaches will not bring up in him a sense of responsibility, but only cause fear and isolation. Education should be based on mutual understanding, not on a show of force. Ideally, the child should be afraid not of punishment, but of upsetting his parents - this is what helps him to form moral guidelines.